August 15, 2005

  • sometimes you look back to your day and just things that you regret
    comes up to your mind...  regretting to wake up early enough to
    start your day, regretting eating that left over from 2 weeks ago,
    regretting because you haven't really started your day and your clock
    points 6:50 pm.   or regretting how you made someone feel bad
    couple days ago.
    regret can be defined many way to people.. through their personality, culture, etc.
    but i guess for everyone, it's a point of being ashamed.  Ashamed
    that you no longer wanting to talk about it, ashamed that you no longer
    wishs that people will talk about it.  never to be mentioned
    again, never to be brought again.  while at that, you realize that
    regret isn't just a point of submerging your feelings and shames. 
    it's time of reflection.. it's time of realizing what you did, and how
    you can fix it, what not to do. 

    everytime i look at the mirror, see that scar on my chin, i keep
    reminding myself.... ' you know that sign that says "no running near
    swimming pool",  you should've followed it...'  but there are
    scars that reflect not through outer skin...  sometimes, walking
    around the San Francisco reminds you of your stupid non-sense scene you
    created... sometimes, seeing your cel-phone sitting on your desk
    reminds you of the time you said some "not so pleasent" things to a
    person on the opposite side...   sometimes...  music
    brings you back to the time...

    it's funny to see that if you regret about a lot of things you did in
    your life....  it may seem like you just have mistakes after
    mistakes...  but if you regret...  at least you are being a
    human...  a person who can actually reflect back and say "i was
    stupid"...  
    for that...

    i was more stupid....  i am stupid...  i will be less stupid...