March 6, 2005

  • "You'll never be that person you want to be..............."

    everyone has some type of dreams...  becoming the world leader,
    becoming a lawyer, becoming rockstar, or just someone popular among
    people...etc.etc.
    I always thought that i can be THAT person if i tried hard enough. if i
    wanted it, i would get it with having passion to obtain that goal in
    your life, and that's what i thought the happiness would rise... 
    it's never the case for me...
    dissatisfaction rises from inability to achieve personal goals and
    dreams...  things never go the way you planed, and a lot of times,
    it's not even near....  i guess i just have to find the happiness
    with whatever i got so far... 
    people always say "dream big", especially parents... it's the right
    thing to say, but sometimes, realizing that those big dreams are never
    to come true just makes you feel ......  what's the word i'm
    looking for....."useless"?  
    i'll know i'll never ever be "that popular guy"  or "that nice guy" or....  even "that smart kid"
    so i'm gona accept the fact that i'm just regular kid, not much for big
    dreams, and not even all that friendly....  most likely just pain
    in the ass kid...... 
    yea... i know, i'm an asshole...  i have problems...  i'm not
    that smart, i'm not that wise...  i'm not that good at playing
    instruments, or learning new things...  i'm pretty dam ugly, and i
    talk too much... yea... i know... so i'm gona have to think twice about
    my "acceptable" goal that i can persuit, and try for that... 

    anyone have any idea what i'm talking about?   told you i'm retarded...