August 3, 2004

  • ABOUT 25 STITCHES ON YOUR FACE... imagine... it happenes to someone who gets into accidents... it happenes to someone who get assulted with deadly weapon... it has happened...

    i don't know how this all began... 2004 sucks and it scares me to know that i'm only half way done... no doubt, this year will be most painful, most remembered, most... hated year.. (i talk like 2004 is already gone... but you see? i want it to end...) where to start... check fraud, roomates, appartments, break-ups, unstable emotions, songs, cries... (take a breath) financial problems, family problems, friends, lack of trust, lack of life, death, serious injuries, anger managements, arguments, and many more....

    i pretty must lost everything i wanted... a good stable family... friends up in berkeley... money.... my heart... my soul... family getting in arguments, friends moving back to LA for their own problems/jobs/etc., in heavy credit card debt.. finding out my girl left me for someone else...

    it may seem like it's nothing big to think about... but i guess i'm just too naive... i just want things to be perfect for me... and inability to obtain these goals makes me upset, aggitated, and gloomy... it's only august... 3rd day of august... and so much happened already... John Lee getting hurt, Eugene taking break from school... i don't even know what my priorities are anymore... taking care of friends?.. family?.. or myself?... as much as i love my family... i want to put them first, but my surroundings are friends.. and they are need of every help i can give... (or at least i want to give).. financial situation on me doesn't help ANY of them... so do i just keep working to get money? i don't make $100,000 a month... i'm just another poor college kid... how can i help? i can i be in your assistance? how can i be who you want me to be? who am i? fed up, tired, i finally cut my hair

    lately, i figured out who i want to be... the qualities i want to have, about relationship to my nuclear family (if i get married) and extended family, friends and society... i want to have a stone to sink into the pond and let it settle down for years and years to come... not moved, hindered.... that stone, with labels or rightous morals, ethics, and devotion,...

    omg.. what the hell am i talking about.... stupid charles. i hate you too

    OH YEA!! and for a person who think i'm mad at and said "i think charles is mad at me" this messege is for you: i only drove to see you and visit you and spend time with you! if you think i'm annoying and say "i had to put up with this guy for 3 days" then i don't want to bother you any more... i'm not mad at you... just don't wannt bother you no mo~ get it? so PEACE!

Comments (4)

  • hi chaz. i mish you! hope you're doing ok. sounds like you've been going through a lot. call me and let's play ok? i wub you. seriously.. always here with a shoulder.. and ear and whatever else i can provide *pat pat*

  • take care buddy...  just give urself a day to cool off and think about NOTHING.. just set it aside and chill..  watch some tv and go work out or somethihng..  we all fall into this cycle sometimes.. it isn't trying avoid it or to prevent it.. itis to slow it down.. and then let it go.  =)  hug

  • I hear you brutha (a la James)... seems like we've all gone through some really heavy shit this year, seperately and together... but don't worry so much about what's happening to everyone else... I know it's hard, because you care a lot about those around you... but most of these things are beyond our control.  I know you'd like to be able to do something, anything, to make everything better for everyone, and I do too, but the best thing you can do is to focus on what's best for you, and that will make everyone else's life that much better.  I think this is a time when God is putting us to the test, seeing how we handle the rough times, testing our resilience and faith... all you can do is have faith, and follow the right path.  Think of this time as the climax of the story, now it's time for the resolution... let's make it happen, Charles.  Á¤½Å Â÷·Á¶ó Ä£±¸¾ß... ÀÌ·± ÀÏÀÌ »ý±æ ¶§ ÈûÀ» ³»¾ßÁö... ±×¸®°í, ³ÊÈñµéÀº Ä£ÇÑ Ä£±¸¿´ÀݾÆ... ±×·¯´Ï±î ¾µµ¥¾øÀÌ ³ª»Û °¨Á¤À¸·Î Çì¾îÁöÁö ¸»¾Æ¾ßÁö... ¾Ë¾Ò¾î?  È­ÀÌÆÃ! or ÆÄÀÌÆÃ! or whatever the hell it is ;)   Funky ass Koreans... 

  • everrything sounds so new. 1st time hearing all this~u okay? =/

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