May 6, 2003

• So,... another week as gone by, and i still can't seem to find what i've done to satisfy the time. Have you ever felt that way? where you know you have absolute control of the time you spend, yet, once you realize it, you are just being constantly short on time, out of breath. I want to take a moment to breathe, look around, find out where i really am. perhaps it's not the best time, cuz there's so much confusion and hardship, that you rather not look anywhere else but just run.. just run where? just run forward, whatever it happens, just keep going... there will be rocky roads ahead, you will fall... but just have to close my eyes, and swollow up my pain, and just keep going... i donno where i'll end up, i don't know where i'll stop, i don't know when i'll be able to look around and say "ah, what a beautiful day" but for now, i just have to keep going.,. to find something i don't even know... keep on going..
  
  Ever feel like this world is just full of crap? all the beautiful things end up looking so dull, so sad, so nostalgic,... out of place? somethings just don't belong in certain places...
  
  you see, some birds just don't belong in the cage... their wings are just too bright for them to sit around.. let it out, let it free, and let it go.. and then... try to forget about it...
  
  i don't like where i'm standing, it just has no place for it to get better... or worse... just a common ground that everyone share, that everyone stand on. i don't care what the outcome might be, worse? better? i just don't wanna stand here anymore... but once again, sudden fear just hits me,,, that i no longer have desire to seek elsewhere...
  
  so i just end up where i am... same place... same road.... still running.....

  • 7:35 pm
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